?

Log in

No account? Create an account
26 September 2008 @ 06:16 pm
i feel like i'm on a roller coaster of emotions......lol....so for a long time ive been having this feeling that he's beeN cheating on me.. i've been with him for over a year and i have yet felt like his girlfriend. then for the past two weeks he has been calling me back at the weirdiest times...it just doesnt make sense at all...like last night i spoked to him at 11:15 and then he says let me call you back its my brother and he doesnt call me back till 1:22 in the morning and the funny part about it is that when he calls back he's in his car driving back from somewhere...he said that he had forgot to clock out so he had to go back to work after he had gotton home. then he say that his friend supossely called him and he went over there and hung out with him for a little while.....its like i'm over being treated like a total nobody.. its like damn we've been togerther longer then a year and you want to act like you just met me yesterday. then when he called me back he was like that i flirt alot with the transporters and that he doesnt mind sharing me with other guys....WTF is that suppose to mean. i told him of course you would say something like that because i'm just some big joke to you. then today he's getting at me about flirting and he's sitting in the corner flirting away with a girl transporter..i'm here trying to transfer a call to him and he's over there taking a transpoter that is not from his site out of a call and sweet talking away. then he has the nerve to go and try to tell on me with our lead. its like i want to tell that "i dont want to be with you anymore" but at the same time i know i'm not ready to give him up....LIFE SUCKS
 
 
Current Mood: annoyedannoyed
 
 
20 June 2008 @ 04:03 pm
why is it so hard for me to understand that maybe this whole thing is just not going to work. i mean how do you go out with someone for a year and not even tell them when your birthday is. only one things come to mind why a person would do something like that and that is that the person just does not care about you or your feelings. man i'm not saying that i want to throw you a party but at least give me a heads up. i bet the mailman knew his birthday and they probably had a good laugh at about it. i'm just a big a joke to him.. how can you love somebody that thinks of you as a nobody? what do you do? its like this whole time i've been true to him and he hasnt been the same with me..its like i know what i need to do but my heart doesnt want to let go. how can i be sooo dumb..
 
 
Current Mood: depresseddepressed
 
 
25 March 2008 @ 10:56 pm
this month had to be one of the worst months in a while. me an my boyfriend have been fighting non stop..maybe its time to give up and call it quits
 
 
18 February 2008 @ 09:07 pm
the worst thing anybody can do is work worth there boyfriend...if i can take back anything it would be to have never started anything.he makes my job so much harder.. you would think it would be the other way around..i mean the simple thing to do is to break up with him but i cant do that.. because i"m a stupid girl that gets to involved in a relationship that probaly isnt worth anything...sometimes i feel that i'm in this by myself.... i"m so annoyed with everything right now... i really tired of all the things thats been going on.. its when thing are good something comes and hits me right in the head.. nothing cann really go my way... i cant wait to go on vacation, i wish i can go and never come back.. maybe i should go visit my dad this weekend.. i really need to get out of this place...
 
 
Current Mood: angryangry
 
 
03 December 2007 @ 06:57 pm
so i'm not sure whether i was just cry or just tell myself to stop being a baby. so i think that me and whats his face are done. i just dont want to be treated like this..i mean he hasnt really done anything really bad to me but its not good either.i really dont like the fact that he ignored my phone calls and text all weekend. i mean come on grow up. if he was mad or something he could of just text me back and said so..instead of ignoring me the way he did. so this is why i feel that it should just be over. i dont want to deal with this situation anymore.. and my mom made a good point, she told me that maybe i need to reEVALUATE the relationship...that really made me really think.so i just think that it needs to be done..i have passed my drama capacity..lol at the sametime i dont really want it to be over but i have my self respect to think about.and you dont go and ignore me the way he did...
 
 
Current Mood: confusedconfused
Current Music: show me by the cover girls
 
 
 
06 November 2007 @ 05:06 pm
all though there is no such thing as the perfect guy, i liked to believe that there is a guy of some sort out there. i want a guy that will admit when he is wrong, that will not bring drama into your life. that will send you flowers just for the hell of it. that will show up to your house to surprise you, especially the times that you feeling really blue. a guy that will not insult you because he feels that his feelings are going to get hurt. a guy that does'nt have a thing to hide, that will be there for you no matter what. and when he says that he misses you, he will act like it. i want a guy thats not jealous about the dumbest things. a guy that will accept your friends and not put them down to make himself look better. a guy that knows what he wants in life. a guy that is very goal oriented. i want a guy that is romantic and that takes the time to get to know the real me and not the me that i let people know...i would love to meet a guy with these exact qualities....i know that he has to be out there somewhere...
 
 
Current Music: no one by alicia keys